I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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