At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
