btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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