I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, beer. Big fan.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
