it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
