whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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