I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
