I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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