Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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