My hand turned me down
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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