i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
