you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
