My brain says no but my pants say off.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
