it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
