I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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