You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
