I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
