based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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