There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
