Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
