Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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