i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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