Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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