I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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