This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
