I think my vagina is haunted
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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