my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
