Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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