dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
