Don't make out with my wife yet
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
