You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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