Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
