Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
