Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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