now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
