and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
