Don't you send me to vm
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
