Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
