In the future we'll all be gay
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
