so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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