just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
