oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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