Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
