We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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