Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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