your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And then my night got REAL pukey
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
