The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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