I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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