bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
