a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
