is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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