Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
