I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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